Nigerian Scammers :P

music: None cause I'm at work ;)
mood: Hungry!

Looks like PJ is now a target by nigerian scammers. Better yet, ones who think they have a great idea for a film, yet sadly sounds like a bag of baby vomit:

Hi,

My name is Sanusi Ladi, I'm a male 17 and from Nigeria. I wrote a block buster movie titled Love Of Football which involves Football, Vampires and Nigerians actor and actresses. Are you interested in working on this movie?


LOVE OF FOOTBALL
Two friends named Peter and Amoroszy. Were 14 – 15
year of age. Their country England was at a world cup final which was
hosted by Argentina. They were to meet Brazil at the final. But were
defected by the Brazilians, 2 – 1.

So Amoroszy decided to go for payback someday. Some years later, he
became a football star, and he had the Number 9 jersey in England, plays his club football in Arsenal. During all these period, he scored a lot of goals without sustaining any injury which result to a lot of awards being given to him by the fifa president and lots more from the game he had played so far.

A world cup which will be hosted by the Brazilians remains some few
months. So Amoroso’s Team England was to play some friendly matches in other to be capable for the world cup.

A friendly match will be played by the England’s vs. Holland. And the
Holland’s star player was a defender named Zico. Who plays his club
football in Bolton, was to mark Amoroszy. At the day of the match, Amoroszy scored 4 goals from Zico's wing. The next Arsenal (away) match will be against Bolton, Zico’s club.

Zico had to sent Amoroszy to a journey of never retune vampires arena. Will Amoroso retune? Amoroszy just wanna go for payback some day then how did Zico get himself involved? You will get to know about that in the script.

This movie is gonna bring you a lot of money and a good reputation all over the world. It will bring you a lot of awards cos it will be loved by every football fans in the world. I involved Nigerians actors and actresses to the movie script so it can be ever green. Please tell me if you will love to work with them cos it will be the best movie ever shot in America(Hollywood)/Africa(Nollywood)

If you're not interested in working with them tell me so I can remore the Nigeria aspect from the movie script.

The movie script is just 60 pages and I think it will be up to 160 minutes. I'm just a kids and I don't have the money for the budget. I know you do so tell me if you will be seeking 60% or more than. I will be expecting your reply. Thank you so much.

Amoroszy.
Lewman on 05.17.07 @ 12:15 PM GMT [link]

The Jackson Mess

music: Who - Baba O'Riely
mood: Worked Out

Well if there ever was biterness then this guy takes the biscuit!



Hello to whomever:

I do not often take it in mind to write about things but it is time. Of course it is too late. Who am I - Vincent Treanor III - former Road Manager of The Doors. Why is this important. Because I watched Oliver Stone make a has, a distortion, a Lie out to the story of the Doors. I tried me best to reason with the fool and make him tell the real story of Miami. He preferred his dream world to the real thing.

And what has this to do with Jackson - Nothing unless you want to make the comparison with Stone and this fool that took one of the masterpieces of literature - a story that took a man years to plot, develop and write - and decided to rewrite it to suit his own imagination. I ask why, what was the motive, the benefit.

I suppose the people who thing that Lord of the Rings is a masterpiece have never read the original book. that is the only way you could possible accept this travesty as even being close to the original. Why the distortion of Treebeard and the dingle. Why was Arwen involved in the crossing of the Bruinen, Why all the wasted screen time in the Grey Havens when other, for more important and pivotal scenes were left out. Why take Frodo to Osgiliath. He never put the ring on between the separation and the story of mount Doom - another dragged out piece.
Why waste all the time with Elrond pleading with Arwen - that never happen in the book. All stupid modification to the original story. What about the section of Farmer Maggot and the waste of time there. Why didn't he show the ride in the wagon. Again wasted film time lingering on bullshit. I understand he was too cheap to make the movie in 8 sections and follow the book and tell the whole story more accurately. I understand he had to lose some of the story - But what about Bombadil - and the Wraiths in the mounds from whence the Hobbits got their swords. Why so much wasted time of lingering face shots and omitting or distorting important scenes or adding things there were never there.
S-T-U-P-I-D!!!!

The incident at the Gates of Moria, the alteration in telling the story of the passage of the ring at Rivendel,

He and Oliver stone are in just about the same catagory - incompetant story tellers. Using fantay to make up the inability to edit the story to maintain something near the truth. I have ready the entire series more than 20 times. It is obvious that Jackson never read it once - and you people make him a hero - That movie makes me as sick as "The Doors" Both of them should be burned. Both are a disgrace to good cenimatic art.

You can tell Jackson I said so. Not, I suppose, he really cares. He is laughing all the way to the bank while the real fans throw up in disgust. The only way he got away with it is that few of the viewers ever read the book. If they read the book before they saw the movies, word of mouth would have made it fail as Stone's fantasy did. That failed becuase people knew the truth and Stone did not tell it like it was.


Vincent Treanor III

Lewman on 02.14.06 @ 02:35 PM GMT [link]

What are you guys smoking???

music: The Subways - Rock and Roll Queen
mood: Baffled

Er, thanks for this one. Is that a chip I can see on your shoulder?:

-subject: please read with thought
-
-I love Peter Jacksons work but the reality is his greed is killing, the rich
-of this world are causing
-the world to die. can noone see the difference between New Zealand and the
-lord of the rings??
-Those who want power are evil, destroying their lands and resources for
-selfish needs.
-Why does an actor get 20 million??? while I paint his house for peanuts???
-Cant anyone act ha ha
-Go back in time and see that actors and singers were nothing but jester
-entertaining for food and shelter ha. go back further when families would
-entertain themselves.
-How long do you think the money can last????? If you forget food water and
-shelter???
-The money hub is dying so I hope you can do more than jest.
-NAD


Thankfully NAD, yes I can tell the difference between New Zealand and the
Lord of the Rings. I think I'd need some pretty strong medication if I couldn't.
Congratulations on painting Peter Jackson's house, although if you're unhappy
with being paid peanuts for it, perhaps you should consider a career in acting.
Apparently anyone can do it.

Also, maybe PJ might forget water and shelter, but I don't think there's any
chance of him forgetting food!

Thanks for your entertaining, if completely non-sensical, email.

Love Reno
Reno on 11.04.05 @ 06:37 PM GMT [link]

music: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can't Stop
mood: Hungover

Nothing beats waking up hungover from the night before and recieving an email like this one:

To,

Respected Peter Jackson,

A HEARTIEST REQUEST FROM THE CULTURAL DESK OF DIBYENDU & AMBALIKA

SIR,
We are a Cultural & Educated Bengali (Indian) newly married Couple - DIBYENDU DAS (A 32 Year's old Computer Consultant) & AMBALIKA DAS ( A Master Degree Student on the Music of Rabindra Nath Tagore, studing in the Rabindra Bharati University, Kolkata). We are highly interested to collect the PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHIES With SIGNATURE, LETTERS, of the GREAT CELEBRITIES of WORLD OF POLITICS, CULTURE, MUSIC, CRICKET, LAWN TENNIS, LITERATURES, POETRIES AND OTHERS. We store the memorable paticulars in a FILE, named - "A MEMORABLE PROFILE" and we think, that will inspire us to go ahead on the Way of Our Future Lives and also show the morality to our next generation.
So, we are highly requesting YOU to send us YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY With YOUR SIGNATURE AND A WISHING LETTER FOR OUR SUCCESSFULL & HAPPY FAMILY AND PEACEFUL FAMILY form YOUR INTELLECTUAL DESK.
We are also intersted to build-up a Non-Profit Computer Educational Institute for the financially handicapped students of the Kolkata, one of the famous city of India with our own limited financial capacity, because, we think, "Our All Activities Are Statistically Calculated By The Almighty".
We hope, YOU will be enough kind to grant our heartiest request and Send us YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY With YOUR SIGNATURE AND A WISHING LETTER FOR OUR SUCCESSFULL & HAPPY FAMILY AND PEACEFUL FAMILY form YOUR INTELLECTUAL DESK. Now, we will await for YOUR REPLY AND INSPIRATION.
THANKING YOU.
WITH OUR BEST REGARDS,
DIBYENDU & AMBALIKA
Lewman on 10.15.05 @ 01:26 PM GMT [link]

A New Year, A New Bunch of Stupid Bastards

music: Wheatus - Too Soon Monsoon
mood: Constipated

I was sitting at work twiddling my fingers when it hit me. I havent had a rant for a while! So about time the blog was started again! Heres a great one to get things goimg:





I do not know my friends keep telling me I look like
him, so I hope one of you can give me the answer! - Mr G



I'd say yeah you look like PJ, if PJ had been the love child of Sloth and Harry Knowles!




Lewman on 09.12.05 @ 08:22 PM GMT [link]

Another 'award winning' film idea is presented to us...

music: Ultravox - Vienna
mood: Slightly tipsy cause of one too many Guinesses

I have a story I think Peter Jackson will be interested in. Not only is it his kinf-of story, it is the type of story that is likely to be shown for years to come all over the world! But, as a trip around tha world starts with one step, THE LAST BLACK MAN IN THE COUNTY starts will you giving me Mr. Jacksons, mailing add ... I do hope you'll give me the chance to have my material considered by Mr. Jackson, and perhaps help him in finding THE story of his lifetime.......Thanks, TL Dishman

Yeah thanks for that mate....



Lewman on 06.26.04 @ 11:05 PM GMT [link]

Scary Bastard!

This message demonstrates a real skill in making an email look like a ransom note made from letters cut out of a newspaper:

Dear SIR/MADAM,

I HAVE A LIFE TIME DREAM OF BEING AN EXTRA IN A FILM LIKE KING KONG,

IN WHICH DIRECTOR peter jackson

is doing . I have 5 kids , 4 i adopted and all of them would love to see it happen too. I am an extremely hard working man who would be very useful in helping set up movie sets or building sites .

COULD YOU PLEASE HELP MAKE MY DREAM A REALITY

I ALSO BELIEVE IT WOULD BE THE BEST THING FOR MY WONDERFUL KIDS TO ENJOY,REMEMBER,AND TO MAKE THEM TRULY BELIEVE THAT IF YOU WORK HARD ENOUGH ANYTHING CAN BE POSSIBLE

THANKYOU SO MUCH

I was expecting the message to end with something like "LEAVE £20,000 IN UNMARKED NOTES IN A TESCO BAG IN LOCKER 12A AT KINGS CROSS STATION. GO ALONE AND MAKE SURE NOBODY SEES YOU. OR THE HOBBIT GETS IT". Scary.




Sam on 03.14.04 @ 07:54 PM GMT [link]

In other mail...

You're probably familiar with the Nigerian 419 scam mail, you know, the one that claims to be from the relative of some deceased businessman or diplomat in need of URGENT ASSISTANCE PLEASE. Had one this morning from a chap whose name was Wang Qin. Nice.


Sam on 03.14.04 @ 11:42 AM GMT [link]