This
Has Buggered Your Plans For Conquering The Universe
The
Making of BAD TASTE by Ken Hammon
I met Peter Jackson
at Kapiti College in 1978 when we were both 16 and assigned the
same class (in New Zealand a College is the equivalent to a high
school in America). Both being film buffs we got on well and started
hanging out together. Peter had been making amateur movies for
years using a super 8mm camera his parents had bought for him.
His films were fairly awful actually, but he used to write, direct,
shoot, edit, and stage the special effects and he learned a great
deal from them. In 1978 a popular New Zealand kid’s TV show
called ‘SPOT ON’ announced its first ever amateur
film making competion. Peter, me and some other kids (including
Pete O’Herne, who grew up in the same town as Peter and
appeared in several of his early shorts) went out and made a short
film called ‘THE VALLEY’ over a bunch of three weekends.
The other entries in the competition ran, like three minutes tops,
but ‘THE VALLEY’ ran twenty minutes and featured way
more violence than the judges either wanted or expected. The film
was heavily influenced by Peter’s love of Ray Harryhausen
movies and featured two stop motion special effects sequences,
which Peter staged himself; building the models and performing
the stop motion. The stand out sequence involved a fight to the
death between me and a hulking Cyclops creature based (or stolen,
if you prefer) on the one from ‘THE SEVENT VOYAGE OF SINBAD’.
Anyway, we didn’t win the competition (which pisses me off
to this day) but we did gain some notoriety in school when they
screened clips of the film on the TV.
At the end of 1978
Peter and I left school and got full time jobs. I ended up at
the Housing Corporation of NZ, where I met Craig Smith, and Peter
started out at Wellington Newspapers Ltd in the production department
where he met just about everyone else who appears in ‘BAD
TASTE’. On weekends we shot another super 8mm short, this
one based on Peter’s love of James Bond. Called ‘COLDFINGER’
it basically consisted of two fights to the death between Bond
(Peter doing a terrible Sean Connery impression) and me and Pete
O’Herne as the ill-fated bad guys. After doing so many short
films Peter had the idea in 1981 of making a feature on super
8mm. Called ‘CURSE OF THE GRAVEWALKER’ it was a vampire
story inspired by Peter’s love of Hammer horror movies.
We shot for twelve months with Peter playing Captain Eumig (named
after my super 8mm projector), a fearless vampire killer, Pete
O’Herne playing the evil vampire leader Murnau (named after
the director of ‘NOSFERATU’) and me playing a motley
assortment of vampires in different costumes and make-up. We then
went out and charged around Wellington graveyards filming big
fight scenes to the bemusement of the general populace. After
a year of this sanity returned and we realised shooting a feature
film on a super 8mm bordered on lunacy. We abandoned ‘GRAVEWALKERS’
and resolved not to film anymore until Peter had saved up enough
to buy a 16mm camera and we could shoot something that would have
the actual possibility of being seen somewhere.
In 1983 Peter bought
a second hand spring wound 16mm Bolex camera and we set out to
make a ten-minute short film called ‘ROAST OF THE DAY’.
The plot was simple; Giles, a collector for famine relief goes
to Kaihoro, an isolated coastal town, for collection day. He finds
the town eerily lifeless, even by New Zealand standards. On the
way back to his car he is attacked and pursued by Robert, a maniac
with a bayonet. He gets to his car and drives like the clappers
though the countryside until he gets to a large house (Gear House,
a stately house in Prorirua, north of Wellington), he stops to
call the authorities but the house is occupied by cannibals related
to the nutjob on the beach. They knock him on the head, cook him
up and relieve their famine. The End.
On 27th October 1983
we had out first day of filming in Makara Beach, a small seaside
town that, along with Peter’s hometown Pukerua Bay, was
used to portray Kaihoro. The disaster prone Craig – played
Giles. Peter – Still at Wellington News Papers – Played
Robert, and I – After spending most of 1983 on the dole
– was working as a storeman in a Pharmaceutical warehouse.
The first days filming were uneventful except for one incident.
On the first shots we did was a signpost Peter built pointing
the way to Kaihoro (the other sign on the post points to Castle
Rock, which is a Stephen King reference). We stuck up the sign,
shot the footage then took the sign down again and drove away.
About an hour later a cop drove up and said we had been seen vandalizing
road signs! Luckily we were able to convince him it was out own
sign and the whole thing blew over.
After the first day
we fell into a style of filming that would stretch out way, way,
longer than any of us could ever have imagined. When Peter had
scaped enough money to buy a roll of film we would convene on
a Sunday at a location and shoot until the sun went down or we
ran out of film. Since the film was never scripted there was a
tendency to add details and for simple sequences to end up much
more elaborate than planned. The first major addition grew out
of Peter’s fascination with the S.A.S (Special Air Services),
New Zealand’s black clad, back hooded, armed anti-terrorist
squad. Peter decided there would be a sequence where the S.A.S
men break into the Gear House and ostensibly rescue Giles from
the cannibals. We had a hard time figuring this into the plot
but finally decided the S.A.S men would be fake and actually turn
out to be part of the cannibal family and they staged the whole
rescue scene because they like to play with their food! Roped
into playing the S.A.S were Pete O’Herne – then an
office worker for the Ministry of Transport – Terry Potter
and Mike Minett – two colleagues of Peter’s from the
WNL production department. Through the winter of ’84 we
shot the increasingly complicated S.A.S rescue action scenes.
About a year after
filming commenced Peter hired an editing bench from the National
Film Unit and cut together the footage we had shot; and it came
to a whopping fifty minutes! Somehow out ten minute short had
grown like a cancer. In July 1984 ‘THE EVIL DEAD’
had screened at the Wellington Film Festival and its success had
convinced Peter you could make money with a 16mm semi-amateur
horror movie. We resolved to keep shooting and make a full-length
feature, adding a ton of gore along the way (the film at this
point had no splatter effects at all). Somewhere in here I came
up with the title ‘BAD TASTE’ a title Peter never
liked but it was the best anyone would come up with (Peter preferred
the title ‘GILES BIG DAY OUT’ but we all hated it).
To add to the length of the film and to get more special effects
in there Peter decided the cannibals would turn out to be aliens.
We worked out that
the S.A.S who saved Giles would unmask showing human faces, then
transform into their alien shapes. They would drag Giles back
to Gear House to be killed and cooked but he would go apeshit,
kill a bunch of aliens with a chainsaw and escape. There was then
supposed to be an elaborate special effects scene of Giles in
an alien-flying car fighting to the death with a stop motion monster
called the Botha Beast of Trom. After somehow defeating the monster
Giles would stumble across the alien space ship. Getting a bazooka
from the alien’s weapon stockpile he would blow it up as
it took off.
We shot a lot of this
storyline through ’95, including the scene where Pete O’Herne’s
face morphs into an alien make-up quite different from the one
used in the completed film. Then disaster struck…Craig Smith
had gotten married, had a nervous breakdown and become a born
again Christian and declared he could no longer appear in such
a violent and sleazy movie. Around this time Terry Potter had
also gotten married and was planning to move to Australia and
asked to be written out as well. With some difficulty we came
up with a new storyline explaining all this; the S.A.S men would
not be aliens, they would be humans working for the Alien Investigation
and Defence Service of the NZ government sent to Kaihoro to investigate
reports of an alien invasion. Pete O’Herne was called Barry,
Terry was Ozzy (named after his idol Ozzy Osbourne), Mike played
Frank and Peter was added the mix as the AIDS leader Derek. We
finished up Craig and Terry by shooting a scene where Giles and
Ozzy are found dead then spent the rest of ’86 shooting
footage introducing ‘the boys’.
We shot the early scenes
of Barry in Kaihoro (a word that in English means “eat greedily”)
where I play Whitey, the first alien to die, wearing a bad blond
wig and the scenes where Barry is chased through Kaihoro by a
group of aliens (it was joke in the film that O’Herne, the
least athletic of the cast, was the one who was made to run the
most). Some of these scenes were shot at O’Herne’s
mum’s house with her garden shed and garage putting in appearances.
We also shot the scenes of Derek on the cliff top; a sequence
I remember as the most gruelling of the shoot. We spent months
every Sunday schlepping heavy equipment up to the top of this
goddam hill in Pukerua Bay, shooting all day over a precipitous
drop (which never looked as dangerous on film as it did in real
life) and then schlepping everything back down again. This sequence
involved the famous scene with Peter where he, playing both Derek
and Robert, has a fight with himself. We shot this with Peter
first playing Robert and me doubling as Derek, then Pete had a
shave and a haircut and played Derek and I put on a wig and played
Robert. Somehow it all cut together and Robert was able to push
Derek off the cliff to his death. How ever, Peter liked Derek
so much that he later decided that he wasn’t, in fact, dead
and he brought him back later to complete the film.
In 1985 Peter had sent
a copy of the initial fifty-minute cut of ‘BAD TASTE’
to the New Zealand Film Commission to apply for funding. The commission,
and its CEO Jim Booth, were amazed by the footage but declined
funding, suggesting we keep filming and apply again later. We
applied again in 1986 and this time the Commission couldn’t
deny the quality of what we were doing. But the NZFC is a government
agency ad runs scared of public controversy. Jim Booth, who liked
the movie, felt the Commission could put a little money into the
film and then play down their involvement. For the film to get
a large grant it would have had to go through the NZFC Committee
for approval. Jim didn’t think the committee would approve
a film so lacking in redeeming qualities so he avoided the process
altogether and paid us a small sum of money out of the NZFC Script
Development Fund over which he had approval. Jim and Peter became
friends through all this and Jim later quit the Commission to
become a producer and worked with Peter on ‘MEET THE FEEBLES’,
‘BRAINDEAD’ and ‘HEAVENLY CREATURES’.
With all the money from the Commission Peter was able to quit
his job at WNL and work full time on ‘BAD TASTE’.
He designed and built the most elaborate SFX of the film, including
the alien make-up, Derek’s do it yourself brain surgery
and the Gear House conversion into a space ship.
Terry came back from
Australia and Craig’s religious fervour wore off and they
both ended up back in the film. Finally, the last days of filming
took place; the phenomenally gore scene where Derek is born again,
and ‘BAD TASTE’s never ending shoot actual –
free at last, lord, free at last, came to an end.
One of the miracles
of ‘BAD TASTE’ is that no-one was badly hurt during
it’s production. I was talking one to a stunt co-ordinator
while doing extra work on ‘BRAINDEAD’ and he said
“some of that stuff looked dangerous, what kind of safety
equipment did you use?” And I went “Safety equipment!?
SAFTEY EQUIPEMT!? Why didn’t we think of that!?!”.
Probably the nearest
to a bad accident involved Mike Minett who was damn near hit in
the face by a flying 10 kilogram sledge hammer during a fight
scene. Peter’s worse moment had him as Robert dangling upside
down over a cliff. If the rope had given way he would have kissed
his arse goodbye (Peter later spent hours hanging from the ceiling
for the Scene where Derek slaughters Lord Crumb, thereby setting
up sort of world record for a director hanging upside down). Craig’s
most celebrated close call came when one the explosives charges
we used to simulate bullet strikes (Peter made them at home) went
off with way to much vigour nearly hitting him in the slats! Craig
complained about that one for years afterwards. My own worst near
disaster came when we were shooting the scene where Derek’s
can swerves off the road and runs over one of the aliens (played
by Costa Botes, a filmmaker friend of Peters who went on to collaborate
with him on a number of projects; FORGOTTEN SILVER most notably,
and who is now filming a behind the scenes documentary of THE
LORD OF THE RINGS). Since we couldn’t afford a camera bracket
I simply sat on the hood of the van with the camera as Peter drove
it at great velocity towards Costa. Unfortunately we didn’t
realise there was a sodding big tree stump and came to a dead
halt, I, on the other hand, went flying like a fucking lawn dart
straight off the van and arse over elbow through the air and right
towards Costa, who had to dive the hell out of the way! Somehow,
the camera, and more importantly, I survived. This became a rare
example of a shot where it was decided “we ain’t doin’
that one again!”
My most memorable stunt
performance came in the scene where during the raid on Gear House
Frank strafes a tree with machine gun fire and a whole bunch of
aliens fall out. Since Terry and I were the only ones insane enough
to fall out of the tree, we played all the aliens between us.
Terry and I jumped out of the tree, two other blokes took out
places on the ground, and we put on different hats, jumped out
again and then got and did it one more time. Terry and I had a
competition to see who could do the best fall which I think I
won with a darned near impressive face first dive smack into the
dirt.
The worst actual accident
I can remember involved me, naturally. We were filming a shot
of Derek’s can driving along the beach in Pukerua Bay. I
was standing up filming through the sunroof of the late Phil Lamey’s
car and we hit a bleeding great pothole and I was thrown like
a rag doll from one side of the sunroof to the other damn near
breaking my ribs. I spent the next few days hobbling with ribs
that were black and blue.
The most frequently
asked question when it comes to BT is “did you really blow
up a sheep” Craig always answers, “hey, it was an
old sheep.” Actually it was a carpenter’s workhorse
covered with some old sheepskin rugs but it was originally planned
for the sheep to have a much larger part in the movie. Unfortunately,
this plan resulted in a days filming that was disastrous even
by our standards. The original idea is that Barry and Giles are
heading through the countryside to get help and they run into
a rabid, homicidal sheep that chases them through the paddocks
until meeting an untimely death from a stray bazooka shell.
We went out to Caroline
Girdlestone’s farm near Waikenae and set up to film with
pet sheep borrowed from some friends of Caroline’s. The
sheep was a perfectly clean, well maintained pet so we had to
try to scuzz it up a bit by throwing mud and pinning straggly
bits of filthy wool to it to give it a kid of sheep gone punk
sort of look. Pete at one point wanted it to wear an eye patch
(which is a Monty Python reference) but that idea got dropped.
We got the sheep all grungy and set up the shot. The sheep would
be let loose and the crew would rush it making it run towards
O’Herne and Craig who would run away looking terrified as
though this dangerous beast was attacking them.
Pete gave O’Herne,
Craig and the sheep their final instructions; O’Herne and
Craig were to keep looking behind them, note where the sheep was
and try to stay in front of it. Action was called and the shot
commenced. O’Herne and Craig started running straight ahead,
the sheep was released and immediately starting running hell for
leather for the hills! The sheep set some sort of land speed record
with the crew in hot pursuit, it hit the fence line, started running
alongside the fence…and threw itself off a cliff!
We were all gob-smacked
thinking “Holy Shit, we’ve killed someone’s
beloved pet!” but it turned out the cliff wasn’t that
high and the sheep survived its plunge. It was becoming clear
that this sheep didn’t have the slightest interest in the
show business but, God help us all, we decided to try the shot
again. We set up, this time with a crewmember off to the side
to block the sheep heading in that direction, and called action.
O’Herne and Craig trotted off, the sheep was released and
shot off to the side again! Craig followed instructions and tried
to stay in front of the sheep, O’Herne just lopped off into
the distance and the sheep ran straight for the cliff again but
proved itself smarter than it appeared and slammed on the brakes
and ended up teetering on the edge of the cliff. It looked at
us then at the cliff, then back at us then back at the cliff and
gave the impression it was considering suicide rather than appear
in our movie.
Anyway, we finally
got the camera shy animal down from its perch and made one of
the only sensible decisions in the history of the making of BAD
TASTE; we dicided to scrap the fucking sheep scene and go home.
As we loaded that goddam
sheep back into its trailer to return it to its life of obscurity
Caroline Girdlestone got in the last word: she said “Pete,
if this was a real movie we would’ve started training the
sheep weeks ago!”
When the boys get recognised
in pubs, people always say “you guys must have had a great
time making BAD TASTE”, but actually the experience was
torture and it went on for years. We always seemed to shoot in
winter and were always freezing our arses off (Craig, one bitterly
cold day, announced he was wearing his wife’s pantyhose.
He claimed it was because of the cold but I aint so sure). Because
rain doesn’t show up clearly on 16mm film we often shot
in the rain (there’s one shot you can see its raining).
Since we mainly shot on Sundays the cast and crew (well, the cast
was the crew) were usually seedy and hung-over. And screw-ups,
accidents and gaffes happened on a pretty much weekly basis. There
was one Sunday where we had all arrived at the location only to
discover Pete had forgotten to bring any film (he rang his mum
and she brought it out). There were a couple of days where no-one
other than Pete could be stuffed turning up and he had to turn
around and go home again. There was a day when hardly anybody
turned up and Pete had to get some kids on the beach to operate
the camera crane, making BT probably the only movie in motion
picture history to feature a crane shot where the crane was operated
by nine year olds.
Perhaps most devastating
psychologically for a splatter movie we were never able to get
Derek’s stinking chainsaw to go; we just dubbed in the sound
of it going and used a smaller, newer chainsaw for the shots of
it actually cutting through things.
Finally, though, after
years of freezing cold Sundays, nervous breakdowns (Craig was
the only one), wasted actors (you know who your are), cast desertions,
amateur stunt-work, homemade explosives, rooted chainsaws, run-ins
with the law and a sheep that took direction even worse than Terry
Potter the filming of BAD TASTE was finallu rested into the dirt.
The film went into
post-production and, like EL MARIACHI a few years later, more
money was spent on post-production that was spent on the production.
The film’s soundtrack was completely created in post; there
isn’t a single second of live sound in the film. BT was
mainly shot silent, there was some live sound recording but it
wasn’t that great and scrapped. BT looked really ragged
before it was polished up, the quality of the post was such that
it helped the film a great feal.
BT got its first screenings
at the Cannes Film Festival in 1988 where its strong reception
amazed the Film Commission. It then played sold out houses at
the Wellington Film Festival with the boys in attendance. This
was then being involved in the film finally became fun; seeing
it at the Embassy Theater with a shrieking, laughing, and appreciative
audience. And the other part of the film-making process I really
enjoyed happened around then; we started making money from it.
BAD TASTE was a unique
filmmaking experience. I always say that BT is Peter Jackson’s
film but if he had made it with a difference group of people it
would be a different movie. Maybe just as good but it wouldn’t
be BAD TASTE. Everyone who worked on the film, and the way it
was shot, gave it one of a kid character. I’m glad I was
involved.
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